Monthly Archives: April 2012

Music for the Apocalypse #29: The Final Count Down, by Europe

by Apocalypse Womble

I did try to find an Easter related apocalypse song. In point of fact, I did find a few making the fairly predicatable Zombie Jesus joke, but they just weren’t that good. I did not feel that they would be an adequate apocalypse survival aid.

No, this evening I’m in the mood for something bombastic, and, as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get much better than this: ‘The Final Countdown’, by Europe.

I have been told in the past that this is not a ‘good’ song, or that it is a ‘cheesy’ song. To these people, I say: tell me that when you’re heading for Venus and needing something to stir you up and make you stand tall – huh? Huh?

Here’s hoping you all had an awesome Easter, and haven’t suffered too hard today if you’ve been back at work.

 – Apocalypse Womble out.

Easter Bonnet for the Apocalypse

by GClarkHellery
My mum recently sent me some old photos and the pictures which brought the biggest smile were the ones in my various Easter bonnets, which got me thinking, instead of the tulips, chicks and more which graced my hats as a child, what would an apocalypse Easter bonnet look like? So, after much crafting this afternoon, I present, my Apocalypse Easter Bonnet, with a killer robot, zombies, monsters, vampire chics and man-eating tulips! 
Wishing you a chocolate, non-blood filled Easter!
And the zombie Easter bunny says hi too!

The Hunger Games … Futuristic Speculative Fiction? Or Just Battle Royale Revamped?

So, here I am. Finally putting fingers to the keyboard and contributing to the site. I wondered earlier why I left it so long before asserting myself … I almost had a Cartman moment … and then I realised that really, everything I had to say had been said: so when I saw an opportunity sparkling at me from afar, accompanied by the whistle of a Mockingjay – I knew I had to grasp it. Especially as it’s “hot” and “cool” at the moment … ever the tailcoat grabber me …
When I first heard that “The Hunger Games” was being made into a film, there was barely a flicker on my “give-a-f*ck-ometer” – what was “The Hunger Games?” “Why would I care?” – Eventually I voiced my opinion and the collective intake of breath could have sucked a tennis ball through a hosepipe.
I then read all three of Suzanne Collins’ books – mostly to silence the whining in my ear from a group of Twilight fangirls. (Yes, I know, don’t go there.)
I’ll concentrate on The Hunger Games rather than the other two books. So … are you pro Katniss or not? Is this speculative futuristic post-apocalyptic fiction? Or a rip off of Battle Royale and cliched trite?
I’m with the former.
YA fiction is difficult to write, how does an author capture the attention of hormone riddled young ‘uns, and once attention is caught – how does said author keep it?
SC creates Panam, the districts, the Capitol, the characters, each one a variation of the world we already know – but then she adds her twist, not only do they battle to the death, spear each other through the chest and throw knives, but there’s a pesky love triangle to contend with.
Writing a full book review would bore me. So I won’t. There are over 500 reviews on Amazon – go look.
I’m writing a film review. I say review, I mean “musing.”
This is a 5* movie – no doubt. It kept my attention for the full 142mins (I checked IMDB) and left me eager for the next installment.
The cinematography is top notch, the acting by kids is brilliant and the script superb. I especially enjoyed Lenny Kravitz as Cinna – that man bumped Vin Diesel off my “Top Ten McFitty’s That Must Be Saved When Zombies Attack list”- he can act, he can sing, he wears eyeshadow and still looks 50 shades of yum … what’s not to like?
Overall there was one major weakness and let down.
It ended.
So, this is my review.
Disappointed? Yeah, me too – but you have to appreciate … I’m fighting off flesh-eating unicorns and pissed off elves while writing this, the cat’s eating the dog and the husband is infected with a deadly airborne virus that’s threatening to go global (or so he’d have me think) – it’s OUTBREAK time …

Know Your Idols #23 Commander Shepard

About 30 years ago humanity discovered the Mass Relay which allowed them to travel faster than light between systems in the galaxy. They discovered that other aliens where present throughout the galaxy and much of the galactic politics is managed via the Council (represented by a member of the three big races – Asari, Salarian, Turian) on a giant space station called The Citadel.
Whats her deal?
As an alliance soldier, Shepard becomes the first human SPECTRE (an arm of the Council that operate outside the law to help protect the galaxy). On her first mission, before she’s even qualified she stumbles across an ancient ruin that leads her to the discovery that a machine race known only as The Reapers systematically wipe out all advanced life in the galaxy every 50,000 years. It has been 50,000 years since their last appearance. There are many who don’t believe Shepard’s story, many who consider The Reapers to just be a myth. But with the help of her close knit crew and her ship The Normandy Shepard fights to keep The Reapers out of the galaxy and to avert the apocalypse. By Mass Effect 3 however The Reapers have arrived and its no longer a question of stopping the apocalypse but about fighting to survive an apocalypse of galactic proportions.

Mass Effect 1, 2 & 3
She says:

Commander Shepard: I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favourite store on the Citadel.
Nassana Dantius: Shepard! I thought you were dead.
Commander Shepard: I got better.

Gianna Parasani: You can’t bludgeon your way through bureaucracy, Shepard.
Commander Shepard: I can bludgeon pretty hard.

Commander Shepard: Sorry, but I’m having trouble hearing you. I’m getting a lot of bull**** on this line.

Shepard is tough and she fights every step of the way, even when the odds are against her, when no one believes the threat that is coming and a suicide mission is the only way to keep people safe she keeps going, fighting for the galaxy. What makes Shepard different to many of the idols listed so far is that YOU are the person playing her, you are the person making the decisions about how you’ll proceed. Whether your Shepard is a stickler for the rules or plays fast and loose her end goal is always to keep people safe and to prevent the Reapers from destroying all life in the galaxy. Again.

Note: Of course I know that Shepard can be male or female but my Shepard is always female, and out of everyone listed so far she is my biggest idol.

Dana Fredsti’s Plague Town Pandemic Tour!

Dana Fredsti’s Plague Town Pandemic Tour

Dana Fredsti’s Plague Town Pandemic Tour 

Apocalypse Girls team up with Dana Fredsti for the Plague Town Pandemic Tour!

A lethal zombie virus will be infecting websites, blogs, forums and social
media accounts across the globe from April 16th to celebrate the publication
of the first novel in an action-packed new urban fantasy zombie series by
Dana Fredsti!

To win a signed copy of Plague Town and the unprecedented chance to have a
character named after you in the next novel in the series, Plague Nation,
follow the spread of this virtual zombie pandemic by searching for a code
hidden across nine articles, interviews and excerpts hosted by a selection of
the top fantasy, horror and books sites in UK & US!

A word is hidden in CAPS in each article; collect all nine and tweet the
sentence you’ve discovered to @TitanBooks and @DanaFredsti with #PlagueTown
before April 23rd. The winner will be selected at random from the tweeters!

Please check back on APOCALYPSE GIRLS on the 19th April to read a Q&A with Dana Fredsti and for the chance to have a zombie named after you!

Scientists predict that the outbreak will have reached the following
international locations by the dates below:


April 16th

We Love This Book
Good Girls Gone Geek

April 17th

Horror Talk

April 18th

Geek Syndicate
The Daily Dead

April 19th

**Apocalypse Girls**
Flames Rising

April 20th

We Love This Book

Happy Hunting,
Dana Fredsti and Titan Books

Music for the Apocalypse #28: Run With Us, Lisa Lougheed

by Apocalypse Womble

This one could almost be the theme song for GGSA:

When darkness falls
Leaving shadows in the night
Don’t be afraid
Wipe that fear from your eyes
If a desperate love
Keeps on driving you wrong
Don’t be afraid
You’re not alone

You can run with us
We’ve got everything you need
Run with us
We are free
Come with us
I see passion in your eyes
Run with us

For those who may not recognise this, ‘Run With Us’ is the theme song from The Raccoons, a particularly awesome 80s kids TV show. I adored it as a child. It captures perfectly the free spirit and sense of camaraderie that is necessary for wilderness survival, be it in the Canadian forests, or in the blasted landscape of a post apocalypse setting. The song exudes a sense of escape and freedom from civilisation, and at the same time the feeling of being welcomed into a group, of being told that you are valued and have something to contribute. In other words it is exactly tailored to capture the imagination both of children and apocalypse nerds like thee and me.
And, because I can’t resist, here is also maybe one of the most awesome fanvid mash-ups of all time: the Seventh Doctor and Ace with ‘Run With Us’.

You can run with us
We’ve got everything you need
Run with us
We are free…

 – Apocalypse Womble out.

Know Your Idols #22 Donna Noble

by GClarkHellery

In honour of the repeat showings on the BBC this weekend, I thought we should focus on one of my favourite Dr Who companions in recent years: Donna Noble.

What’s her deal?
The self described best temp in the South East, Donna literally appeared in the tardis as The Bride. She helped the Doctor deal with the loss of Rose, although she decided not to travel with him, a decision she regretted. Having met the Doctor, she did decide to start researching strange paranormal events so when she meets him again, she’s ready and talk about prepared, Donna was fully packed and ready for anything with her bags in the back of the car. Her relationship with the Doctor is more one of brother/sister but she can still prick his conscience

Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride
Doctor Who: Series 4 of new run

She says
Donna: Promise me one thing though, Doctor.
The Doctor: What’s that?
Donna: That you’ll find somebody.
The Doctor: I don’t need anybody.
Donna: Yes you do. Because I think sometimes you need somebody to stop you.

The Doctor: The last time, with Martha, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna Noble: You just want to mate?
The Doctor: I just want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: You’re not matin’ with me Sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: Well, just as well, because I’m not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you’re just a long streak of nothing, y’know, alien nothing!

Donna Noble: I’m waving at fat.

Donna Noble: [pointing to the Doctor] *He* is too skinny for words. You give him a hug you get a paper cut! 

Donna brought a levity to the Doctors life and in counter-balance to earlier companions, she maintained a platonic relationship with him, the mere suggestion of romance between them being met with a snort of laughter. She’s feisty and fun and like me, she’s not that keen on all the running that being a Doctor’s companion comes with either. However, unlike Rose who was thrown into another dimension, or Martha who chose to leave the Doctor, Donna’s time with the Doctor comes to a sad ending when she absorbs

Apocalypse Warning!

The Apocalypse has begun and we never saw this coming!
Reports are coming in from survivors in Scotland that the Wild Haggis, tired of years of being hunted as a Burns night delicacy has turned the tables and is now hunting down the inhabitants of Scotland and gorging on human intestines.
Isolated attacks started in the Highlands a week ago and have since spread across the country with these creatures moving on mass into built up areas.
The Haggis is a small creature, which due to it’s preferred hillside territory evolved legs shorter on one side than the other. They were previously considered not to be dangerous. Their restricted movement made them easy prey however appears they are overcoming issues of direction and balance by crab stepping across the country.
Reports are showing injuries to the lower legs and throat as well as the victims stomachs being opened and intestines either devoured or pulled out of the body. We assume from this that the small creatures are felling people by attacking the legs first, killing them by ripping the throat and then taking their time with a pointed comment on their own fate at our hands.
So far they have been unable to cross the border but it seems inevitable that at some point they will figure out that Hadrian’s wall is no longer the barrier it once was and England will fall.
We have no reports of anyone having survived a direct attack or escaping after visual contact with a Haggis, the information we have comes from small groups of survivors who have found the remains from earlier massacres.
No one has made it out of Scotland since this began but the GGSA has received emails and photos. The Haggis’ have organised, setting traps and ambushes, attacking cars full of fleeing families and rampaging through busy tourist attractions using panic and terror to confuse their victims.
Troops are being prepared and will be sent to defend the border but you should prepare yourselves for attack. The Haggis is small, resourceful and utterly utterly deadly. Scotland has been given up as lost, any survivors need to get to the army camps at the border before cleansing begins.
We will keep the site live as long as possible and post information on gathering points as well as updates as they come in. If you have information or have anything that will work against this unforeseen and terrifying threat please contact us and gods help us all.