post-apocalyptic glamour

Bloody Shoes

Ah, the apocalypse, so exciting, so challenging, so very very messy when it comes to your carefully chosen outfits.  All that blood and guts and gunpowder residue and not a dry-cleaners in sight.

But don’t let that stop you dressing to kill, not when there’s these babies to wear!

Conveniently pre-blood-splattered, and with a heel that can poke someone’s eye out, these shoes are perfect for the post-apoc night out.

 

Battleaxebunny out!

(Found via Fashionably Geek, available from Hot Topic.)

Killer Nails

You never know when trouble will break out and here at Apocalypse Girl HQ we’re great believers in being prepared. And so, courtesy of icanhascheezburger, we give you the ultimate in killer manicures…


Now where can we get ammo that small?

battleaxebunny out.

Think Pink

Despite it being a tad annoying that the automatic ‘girl’ version of anything means painting it pink, or, god help us, adding decorative flowers, there are some items in your survival kit that you can get away with having prettied up. Like guns. Doesn’t matter what colour they are, no one is going to accuse you of being less than a hard-ass if you’re pointing one at them.

If you want to go subtle, there’s plenty of small pink guns on the market -

This one is easy to conceal with just enough pink to accent it without being overwhelming. Especially useful if you’re off on a night out in zombie-town as you can stash it in your handbag but still be ready to do violence if the hoards try anything funny.

Anything in hot pink is always a fun addition to your weapons cache and this has a certain kind of disco-diva vibe to it. Another one good for a night out but can be worn openly as it’ll finish off your dancing outfit perfectly.

For extra awesome-sauce, check out this Walther P22 – James Bond wishes he had something this sexy to take out the bad guys with. There’s digital style patterning in khaki and pink which makes it a bit more subtle than the above but still very funky.

Sometimes you need something that’ll let you shoot over distance, so here’s just the thing, with handy telescopic accessories. You can snipe the zombie hoards from the safety of a gun perch while still being safe in the knowledge that you’re bringing a little much-needed glamour to the post-apocalypse.

For heavier shooting action there’s the AK47, though the pale pink is a bit wishy-washy so we’d prefer a shade of pink with a bit more pizazz.

And then there’s Hello Kitty. More specifically, the Hello Kitty assault rifle which no self-respecting post-apoc princess should be without. Again, could do with being in a slightly funkier shade of pink but it’s a fun piece of kit and if nothing else, you won’t be accused of toting boring weaponry.

And if pink guns aren’t enough for you, there’s a host of other pinkified combat equipment out there – just avoid anything that comes in pink camo, because the only place the camo part will work in will be the girls’ section of your local toy store and how often are you going to need to hide out there?

Though having said that, just because they’re all trying to kill you, doesn’t mean you can’t be practical and glam at the same time, and a little pink camo will go perfectly with your new weapons so you can kick ass and splatter brains in style and who doesn’t want that?

Battleaxebunny out.

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #16: Angel’s Delight


Rumour has it that this one bears a disturbing resemblance to drinkable Angel Delight pudding – only boozier and creamier.

Ingredients (Serves 1)
1 Measure Hendrick’s Gin
1 Measure De Kuyper Triple Sec
1 Measure Double Cream
1 Measure Milk
0.5 Measure De Kuyper Grenadine

Method:
Shake all ingredients together well in a cocktail shaker.
Fine strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with something that matches the very pinkness of it.

Battleaxebunny out.

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #15: Ninja Turtle


This one looks like it’s been poured from a barrel of toxic waste which is why it’s utterly perfect for the ninja turtles of the apocalypse… Probably goes well with pizza, too.

Ingredients (serves 1)
1 Measure Hendrick’s Gin
0.5 Measure De Kuyper Blue Curaçao
Top up with Orange Juice

Method:
Half fill a glass with cubed ice then build ingredients in order: De Kuyper Blue Curaçao, then Hendricks Gin and top up with orange juice.

Muddle ingredients together and garnish with a slice of (throwing) star fruit if desired.

Battleaxebunny out.

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #13: Alien Sky

With 2012 about to roll in, we all know there’s an apocalypse of some kind on the way, right? So here’s the perfect drink to see out an alien invasion.

Ingredients (Serves 1)

1 Measure White Rum
1 Measure De Kuyper Cherry Brandy
0.75 Measure De Kuyper Blue Curaçao
4.5 Measures Pineapple Juice
3 Measures Orange Juice

Method:
Shake all ingredients together with ice except the De Kuyper Blue Curaçao.
Strain into a highball glass half filled with crushed ice.
Top with De Kuyper Blue Curaçao (do not stir before serving).

Garnish with something suitably alien shaped.

Battleaxebunny out.

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #12: Mudslide

An easy one to make with the added benefit of having milk in it, thus giving you more calcium for your post-apocalyptic health needs!

Ingredients (Serves 1)

1 measure Vodka
1 measure Kahlua
2 measures Baileys original
1/4 pint milk, any type
6 ice cubes

Method:

Place all ingredients and ice in a cocktail shaker. Put on lid and shake vigorously for 20-30 seconds. Strain into a tall glass, preferably pre-chilled.

Presto!

battleaxebunny out

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #11: Dark & Stormy


We’re not at all worried by the fact that all these cocktails seem to demand ice. Obviously getting enough power on to get a fridge-freezer active is going to be one of the priorities of your post-apocalyptic DIY. Unless you’re in the middle of an icy apocalypse then you can just stick the ice-cube tray out the front door…

Ingredients (Serves 1)

Ice
Juice of half a lime
2 measures Gosling’s Black Seal Rum
Ginger beer

Method:

Add ice to a tall glass. Squeeze limes over the ice, then pour in rum and ginger beer, and stir. Garnish with a slice of lime.

Easy squeezy!

battleaxebunny out

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #10: Absolute Stress

Christmas during the apocalypse can be very stressful… but not so much after a glass of this! (And it’s got fruit in it! You remember what we said about fruit in drinks being healthy!) And we’ve noticed that increasing the measures of the alcohol portions significantly decreases the amount of stress felt…

Ingredients (Serves 1)

1 measure vodka
1 measure dark rum
1 measure peach schnapps
1 measure orange juice
1 measure cranberry juice

Method:

In a cocktail shaker, combine vodka, rum, peach liqueur, orange juice and cranberry juice. Shake well. Pour over ice in a tall glass and garnish with a slice of orange and a cherry. (See, fruit!)

Chin chin!
Battleaxebunny

(Original recipe from here)

Cocktail Cabinet of the Apocalypse #7: Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Those of you who are well travelled may have already come across this quite legendary tipple – if not by direct experience then by perusal of the right kind of a guide book. We’ll quote you direct from it – “…the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.”
(Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy )

We won’t argue with the master so here’s a recipe for it – feel free to double, triple or quadruple the measures though it’s highly likely you won’t even be able to pronounce this one once you’ve drunk it… and if nothing else, this will take your mind off whatever nasties are lurching outside the house…

Ingredients (Serves 1)

1 tablespoon gin
1 tablespoon light rum
1 tablespoon vodka
1 tablespoon tequila
2 tablespoons creme de menthe liqueur
2 tablespoons Galliano
1 scoop ice cubes
1 slice lemon

Combine the gin, rum, vodka, tequila, creme de menthe, Galliano and ice in the container of a blender. Cover, and blend until slushy. (If the minions haven’t got the power working, a plastic bag and a hammer work almost as well.) Pour into a glass and garnish with a slice of lemon.

Hic!
Battleaxebunny

(Original recipe from here)

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