preparation

Pantries! Pantries! Pantries!

pantry 1Katemandi here: I can’t say enough about pantries! For the end times you need food. Sure, you might be out hunting in the woods for some critters or foraging in the underbrush for mushrooms and other edibles, but stocking up your pantry ahead of the collapse is just good sense.

Of course you need food that will last a while. Perishables are useless! Think dry dry dry. You’ll be adding water of course in most cases, of course. If you don’t have water — well, honey, I got news for you: you won’t be surviving. So think powders, jerky, dried grains and nuts. Salt! In the medieval and ancient worlds, it was a precious as gold. Not just for flavour but for its preservative qualities.

Which brings me to another point: spices! You don’t have to belong to House Atreides to recognise the importance of spice! You’re going to be eating a lot of bland food that’s been reconstituted. You’ll be grateful for those spices. The good news is that spices keep for a long time if they’re completely dried and well sealed.

Speaking of sealing: have you learned canning yet? The techniques for storing delicious fruit in jams, jellies and preserves is not to be overlooked. You can even can meat, my friend Mary tells me (I got these snaps at her fabulous home at Universal Pathways). The skills are out there: learn them before you need them. You don’t want to poison your crew with poor pantry skills. Be safe, be delicious.

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A New Recruit Arrives..

Apocalypses come and go, but there will always be people needed to survive. You see, if no one survives an apocalypse, how do we know we’ve had one? I mean, until we get *clever*, and start digging around in the dirt for things, uncovering evidence and all that… Which is great, if the apocalypse you’re looking into is off the back of a huge chunk of frozen space metal hurtling into the planet, causing earth-wide devastation…

Times have moved on since then.

I rather suspect that more recent apocalypses have gotten a bit more sneaky in their approach…

 

Enter stage left.

A pink haired, doc marten wearing, emergency go bag carrying gal walks into view. You get am immediate sense that she doesn’t take kindly to crap, and has a veteran look about her. Oh yes. Definitely been around the block a couple of times and seen some things, this one. Her eyes expertly rove around the room, mentally checking off a list, though you aren’t quite sure what that list is; good points for duck and cover, who’d be easiest to kill, or simply what shopping is needed to make dinner; in any case, it’s a little unsettling.

After a few moments, she seems to have made up her mind, and the boots come off, and she makes a cubby in the corner of the room, still watching, and waiting on the coming storm….

 

 

 

What Hurricane Sandy taught us about the Urban Apocalypse – Part 2


(Mark Segar – Reuters)

It was unsettling how things changed. From the safety of social feeds, we watched as photoshopped spoofs and Michael Bay rip-offs paled before the quiet aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Smouldering burns scarred into whiteboard neighbourhoods. A suburban block turned to some vast waste dump. A seafront bar dragged across a bay, a boat perched on railroad tracks. More than the Boxing Day Tsunami, this felt uncomfortably close to home.

We may be incredulous of the naive expectations of the massive storm; or the religious leader who blamed Sandy on New York State’s acceptance of gay marriage. Yet, what lay in front of us was a solid lesson in where the future may lead for many cities across the globe.

In Part One of What Hurricane Sandy taught us about the urban apocalypse, we looked at Corporate Sponsorship, Disaster Parasites, and the not-so sweet smell of the apocalypse.

Past the cut, in Part Two, we’ll be looking at the comfort of petty theft, how hipsters decorate their fallout digs, and why it’s not over til it’s over…

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What Hurricane Sandy taught us about the Urban Apocalypse – Part 1


(Spencer Platt – Getty Images)

It was unsettling how things changed. From the safety of social feeds, we watched as photoshopped spoofs and Michael Bay rip-offs paled before the quiet aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Smouldering burns scarred into whiteboard neighbourhoods. A suburban block turned to some vast waste dump. A seafront bar dragged across a bay, a boat perched on railroad tracks. More than the Boxing Day Tsunami, this felt uncomfortably close to home.

We may be incredulous of the naive expectations of the massive storm; or the religious leader who blamed Sandy on New York State’s acceptance of gay marriage. Yet, what lay in front of us was a solid lesson in where the future may lead for many cities across the globe. Past the cut, here’s the first of a two part blog on what Hurricane Sandy taught us about surviving the urban apocalypse.
 
Continue reading

Try to infect the World with Plague Inc!

Want to know what happens when a pandemic sweeps the world? Want to mutate the symptoms and doom mankind?

Now you can with Plague Inc from Ndemic Creations.

http://www.ndemiccreations.com/

As an apocalypse girl I can tell you I have had hours of fun destroying the earth. I eventually moved on from slightly rude plagues to fluffy names like ‘Weasels’ yes it amused me reading ‘Weasels has destroyed humanity’.

I particularly like the little news flashes ‘Society has broken down in the UK’ or ‘Greenland executes infected’.

It’s like tetris, it’s brilliance is it’s simplicity.

Shoot to kill and can ’em up!

Viking victim photo by Katemandi

by The Shloo

Shoot to kill and can ‘em up.

That’s it in a nutshell. There are few philosophies smarter because when the world’s getting its apocalypse on you have few other choices. Best you get your head round that from the get-go.

I started shooting when I was eight years old. Air rifles mainly, but by ten I was shit-hot with a bow and arrow. Mum always said they’d make the best weapon anyway – when the bullets run out, who’s going to be making new ones? Arrows, on the other hand, are relatively easy to make. I can shape a bow out of a piece of willow  – or pretty much any tree with enough bend in it  – in less than three minutes. A clutch of arrows will take me another five, tops. Robin Hood would weep at the skill in my fingers.

And I never miss.

Our bunker’s pretty sweet. There’s a room full of bunk beds that are more comfortable than they look, a pretty well-equipped kitchen, a library, a bathroom, a canning room – my Mum’s mantra is ‘waste not want not’ – and a big communal living area. Dad and Zeke worked hard and it paid off. Speaking of Zeke, my brother and I were both trained in and for almost anything you can imagine: hand-to-hand combat, gas attacks, nuclear fallout, weapon making, foraging, first aid – you name it, we went over it. Sewing’s my weak point, truth be told, but at least I’ve stopped sewing stuff to my jeans and Mum says I sew a pretty strong stitch. That’s what matters.

Of course, I’ve not had what you might call a normal life.

Hardly a surprise, is it? Survivalists? Maybe, but we call ourselves “sensible” – what else would you call those not blind to the inevitable? I was picked on sometimes at school, but after the suspension – and the scrum half’s snapped wrist (thanks Dad, for those self-defence drills) – I was left alone. I didn’t go to dances, never been for a sleepover, never even sat with anyone else for lunch. I didn’t get to do any of that ‘normal’ stuff. Getting attached to people only makes it harder in the long run. It would have made me sad once (I’ve got hormones and hopes just like anyone else), but you’ve got to focus on what’s important.

To hell with normal anyway!

Is it normal to sit and wait for Johnny Mutant to come eat your brains? To wait while the nuclear fallout burns through your guts and your brain spills out the bottom of your spine? To pretend there’s hope, that someone out there’s coming to save you? They’re not, y’know. If you don’t want to end up a splatter-fest of ex-human, then you’d better get wise.

There’s no time for frills and fancy, there’s only one prize and that’s life – or at the very least dying on your own terms. I’m old enough to know that. The future is about survival. It’s all it’s ever about. I wised up to that the day I heard Dad telling Zeke that me and Mum were the weak link, that we were the ones who would most likely slow them down and that if he needed to get rid of us, he wouldn’t hesitate. I didn’t understand. I was a good learner, better than Zeke who was a lazy crumb. I was better with a bow and arrow and I could climb a tree in half the time he could. Just because he could dig earth for longer, I was the dead weight? Like digging a hole and carrying heavy stuff makes the difference when the chips are down? As far as I could see, the difference that marked us out in Dad’s mind was that I was a girl and Zeke was a boy – his boy. I was eleven years old and from that day on I hated my Dad, hated him for marking me out as mattering less because I’m a girl, for seeing me as an albatross and not an asset. It was also the day I decided one thing –

I wasn’t going to be left behind. You shouldn’t be either.

Ironic really that Dad was the first to get bit. I had to shoot him; Zeke froze like he’d learned nothing all those years. Typical. So I shot my Dad in the head and then when Zeke got violent a couple of months later – the isolation got to him bad – and went all frothing-at-the-mouth crazy, I shot him too. If he hadn’t tried for the door I wouldn’t have had to do it. We don’t know what’s out there. Still, at least his death won’t be in vain. Mum can pickle anything and what’s left goes in the cans.

So that was the last of our bullets. Mum and me? We won’t need them, we’re prepared.

 

 

    Visit The Shloo on Facebook or drop by her blog.

 

Zombie Preparation for fun and education

So you,like me have been thinking about the end of the world. What if it’s chemical, or nuclear, what if it’s machines. Still I keep coming back to zombies, i’m not sure why.
But here are a few things I have picked up trawling pinterest that have amused me and I wanted to share.

Seriously, we all want one of these don’t we? One in every room and under your desk at the office? Just in case?
Although mine would have a fold up shovel and a sword in it.

heehee, yeah, I like it. We need UK ones, that count even without a zombie apocalypse. You seem like a zombie to me and I have a license. mwahahaha.

So many days at work. Seriously. Telling me you’ve never sat in a meeting and thought… a zompoc would get me out of this? I have. I’ve even sat there contemplating my exits, whether i’d try and take the others with me or just leave them to be eaten. This, people, is how I pass the time.

You need good rules people. They can save your life. Rules are the foundation of survival. Every house needs to set rules, post them up on the fridge with the kids pictures and be prepared.

I just love this, I am no where near artistic enough, but it’s very, very cool. Also, makes me think she wants to bite you.

Sadly I don’t have the original sources for all these, but love the work people are doing on the zompoc. You have favourite zombie stuff you want to share? Use the comments. 🙂

Canada prepares for Zombie Apocalypse

by GClarkHellery

Government officials of Canada’s west coast are launching a campaign to encourage tourists and residents alike to prepare for a possible zombie apocalypse. Do they know something we don’t?

For some of their survival tips check out their website here but remember, a true Apocalypse Girl is always ready!

Charge your kit – while you cook!

My friend Josh sent me a link to this really cool gadget which is coming out later this year (good to know that all my nattering about preparation for the apocalypse is working!). It’s a special cooking pot which converts heat into electricity, literally charging up your important kit while you rehydrate your rations. Fabulous stuff. For more information follow the link.

Get Your Fight on 2

It occurred to me after posting the last article I did that all of the feisty females were from Europe. That seems a little unfair, so I have scoured the annals to bring you more potted histories of warrior women from around the world. These are ladies who could inspire us all with their heroism, bravery and sheer determination.



Lakshmi Bai, The Rani of Jhansi 19th C. Lakshmi was the Queen of Jhansi, a state in Northern India. She became a figurehead and key player during the Indian Rebellion against the rule of the British East India Company. And a sword and buckler lady to boot, thumbs up!














Amazons

The Amazons – The Ancient Greeks first encountered these women in Northern Africa (now Libya). There were later amazons of Dahomey in West Africa. These were an elite, all female militia, that served as royal bodyguards and also priestesses.









Fu Hao

Fu Hao – One of many wives of King Wu Ding of the Shang dynasty. She was unusual in that she was also a military general of many campaigns and a high priestess who advised her husband.


































Artemisia of Caria I

Artemisia I of Caria – A general under Persian King Xerxes. After the Persians lost the battle of Salamis he commented:  “My men have turned into women, and my women into men.”

Ya Asentewa – Ashanti Queen who led the rebellion against the British in Ghana in 1900, with balls of steel:

“If you the men of Ashanti will not go forward, then we will. We the women will. I shall call upon you my fellow women. We will fight the white men. We will fight until the last of us falls in the battlefield.”



Arachidamia – Spartan Princess 3rd Century BC. When the council of elders suggested sending the Spartan women to Crete during the seige of Lacadaemon, Arachidamea entered the forum with a sword and shield in protest, contesting the idea that the women were expected to survive their own city. She then directed the Spartan women in assisting the battle, digging trenches and running weapons and food to the men.



Hangaku Gozen – Female Samurai, Japan 13th C. Loyal to the Shogun, Lady Hangaku took up a defensive position in a fortress and commanded 3,000 warriors against 10,000 enemy troops during the Kennin uprising. She was said to have been extremely beautiful, and wielded a naginata in battle.


Aijaruc – Tartar Princess 13th C. She refused to marry any man she could defeat in single combat and as a result won 10,000 horses for her father. Marco Polo wrote:


“This damsel was very beautiful, but also so strong and brave that in all her father’s realm there was no man who could outdo her in feats of strength. In all trials she showed greater strength than any man of them.” 





















Maria Quitéria – Brazilian soldier and national heroine 19th C. She cross-dressed to serve in the Brazilian war of independence.



Yim Wing Chun – 18th C Chinese Novice Nun. The creator of the martial art from whom we take the name, it was taught to Yim by her mentor Ng Mui, a Shaolin Abbess, who came up with the idea after seeing a crane fighting a snake. Yim developed this art and used to defend herself against a man who was trying to force her into marrying him.


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