Craft Corner: Knitting for Fun & Survival

Whether you’re using the finest angora wool or repurposing the yarn from a sweater taken off the back of a dead comrade, knitting is a fun, relaxing way to create useful items that can help you survive the Apocalypse. Here are a few ideas of items you can make while wiling away the lonely hours by a campfire:

Fingerless Gloves – These fashion accessories are a great way to keep your hands warm while leaving your fingers free to pull the trigger. They’re the perfect accessory for the distopian fashion statement you’re making; they’re easy to complete, feel cozy, and look rugged. Make them sassy by adding a fringe, decorating them with beads, or interweaving your stitches with the bleached knucklebones of your enemies.

Scarves – Keep your neck warm and safe from bites with a thick, plush scarf! You’ll really appreciate the versitility of a scarf when you need a rope to scurry down a concrete wall, and they’re the perfect choice when stoppering a door to keep out deadly gases. Handy hint: choose dark colours, which hide blood stains better.

Satchels – It’s true, a girl can never have enough purses, and you can knit your own to carry everything from make-up and books to ammunition and wrenches.

Blankets – Why stick with yarn? Slice plastic bags into strips and knit them into a strong, lightweight blanket that will provide warmth and protection from rain; so handy on stormy nights when you’re huddled under the ruins of a bridge! And, because plastic never degrades, your blanket will last 1000 years, even after a nuclear holocaust. Your great-great grandchildren will appreciate this heirloom piece as they struggle to survive another merciless winter.

I suggest always taking your knitting with you. Knitting helps increase your manual dexterity, and your crafts can be cherished gifts for warlords and nomadic traders you might meet in your travels. Not only will you appreciate the hobby when you need a quiet moment to unwind, but knitting needles make fantastic weapons. I suggest a size 4 straight needle for puncturing the neck of a maurading wolf-beast, while a thinner size 12 works well for jabbing a zombie in the eye.

Happy knitting!

Skookumchuck out.

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