Cutepocalypse – Cats
This may be a controversial post. One which even my fellow Apocalypse Girls may not want to acknowledge. But I fear our time is growing short and we are on the brink of something that may see the fall of human civilisation.
Let’s face it, they’ve got to be up to something.
I mean they don’t provide food or clothing, transportation or protection, and I’ve never seen one help a blind person.
The main practical use for cats -keeping away rodents- is a fallacy. Cats actually bring rodents into the house, that their owners must then deal with.
There doesn’t seem to have been much point in domesticating them.
Perhaps this is because the true answer is that the cats have been domesticating us. They’ve been doing it so successfully for so long that they barely even bother to pretend otherwise anymore.
The next step can only be the enslavement of humanity, and I’m afraid we are not far off.
Cat owners of my acquaintance get woken up, interrupted, scratched, guilted, mesmerised and generally inconvenienced by creatures that they are meant to be superior to.
Let’s face it, humans would not have had to invent Pawsense if cat owners were not in thrall to their feline housemates.
The cats seem to have developed a way of blinding their
targets owners to common sense. When you suggest that the cat would not walk on the keyboard if it were shut in a different room, cat owners will look at you with the glazed and confused expressions of those experiencing post-hypnotic suggestion.
Certain people seem to be very susceptible to them, responding even to unknown cats in the street like sycophants greeting a superior. I have seen very intelligent adults reduced to the coherence and sense of overexcited children just by being within sight of a cat.
The cats have a lot of people right where they want them.