Getting Around #1 – By Air

by battleaxebunny

When trouble hits your best bet is to rise above it. Why risk significant harm and ruination of this season’s post-apoc couture when you can take the roads less travelled. This is especially useful if your survival team is out of weapons, running a little slow or really not in the mood for another day of playing zombie-dodge.

If you’re inside, air vents and overhead pipes are your friends. Be aware of their location and be prepared to climb if you need to avoid danger in the hallways. However, outside is where air travel really comes into its own. If you’re settling in a city, consider a network of rope bridges between buildings and create yourself a roof city that bypasses the need to muck around on dangerous ground. This also comes in handy if you want to firebomb the streets to get rid of large quantities of pesky zombies or other hostiles. (But remember, smoke rises so take extra precautions.)

Always have a back up exit. Getting caught short if your home is breached is to be avoided – keep emergency rope ladders on your most frequented roofs and be prepared to improvise ropes from cables or other local resources to swing away from danger. Learning the noble art of base jumping is recommended, but watch those landing spots – you’re trying to get out of trouble, not into it.

For long distance travel, never fear, with or without fuel you have plenty of options and whatever mode of travel you choose, our post-apoc style guru Alice (all hail the queen) recommends coordinating your outfits to your chosen vehicle.

Like all great endeavours, preparation is key, so now is the time to invest in a few pilot lessons as planes and helicopters are the classic choice for your post-apoc flying needs. Always make sure you have a suitable landing site as crashing is never an option (unless you’ve been genetically modified by an evil corporation and have super-healing). And don’t forget, helicopter blades make excellent weapons of mass destruction.

If your apocalypse involves the sudden appearance of dragons then repurposing one for your own use is recommended. This gives you the benefit of your own high powered weaponry and the means to cross large stretches of country with little effort. Save the bodies of your enemies to fuel your dragon and remember that the female of the species is far deadlier than the male.

If you’re able to secure a broomstick, flying carpet or other enchantment based vehicle then watch out for magic dead zones as the loss of power and ensuing crashing (see above re. survival, lack of) will be embarrassing and just a bit messy.

Happy flying!

battleaxebunny out.

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