Movie Week – Shaun of the Dead

by Katemandi, Last Girl on Earth

When the zombie apocalypse comes, will you be caught with a Cornetto stuck in your mouth? 2004’s Shaun of the Dead offers a hard-hitting look at the average wage slave’s preparation for game-changing mayhem.

The picture was not pretty.

Nonetheless, the titular character managed to survive despite his lack of preparedness through the fortuitous discovery of some important survival rules. Viz.:

1) Choose your team with care — okay, sure it included a lot of dead weight (best friend Ed) and annoying negativity (whiny David) as well as the dangerously injured and vunberable (his mum),  but let’s face it: when it comes to survival, you need some ‘broken wings’ to draw the fire.

2) Blend in — nothing helps you slip past innumerable hordes of shambling undead like the ability to mimic their lifeless stumble. A numbing job in retail can be your best training ground to ape the listless movements and dead-like expression of the revenants, although there is much to be said for factory work as well.

3) Surround yourself with sports equipment — this is helpful especially if you don’t actually play sports of any kind. While it may be encouraged to participate in athletic games and maintain a healthy lifestyle, this type of preparation may also lead to unhealthy levels of confidence and risk. Those who know themselves to be less well prepared and woefully out of shape maintain a reasonable level of doubt as to risky undertakings, leaving the heroics to those wearing their team jackets.

4) Trust the pub — The others pooh-poohed him, viewers doubted but in the end, Shaun was right. The pub was the right choice. Know your pub. Study it well. Get to know the owners and their possible assets (e.g. Winchesters). Make sure there are few enough entrances to control entry, but make sure they also have enough food to tide you over until the first break in the hostilities. A grocer’s or corner shop next door is definitely a plus — so is another pub (or in my case three, plus five more around the square).

Just stay away from the fruit machine!

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