One Woman’s Apocalypse is Another’s Utopia

by Apocalypse Womble

There’s more than one way to survive the end of the world – why scrape around in the dirt if you don’t have to? Reading GClarkHellery’s admirable post about Running in Heels (From Zombies) I was reminded forcibly of the ultimate high-heeled sprinter: Colonel Wilma Deering, friend to Buck Rogers and high-ranking military officer. No one can pelt it down a futuristic corridor in a pair of heels quite like the Colonel. But, you may be thinking, Wilma Deering doesn’t live in an apocalypse setting at all.She lives in the utopic metropolis of New Chicago, where everyone is beautiful, toned enough to wear spandex, and waited on by robot butlers. Hers is the future we all aspire to.

Surely nothing could be further from the apocalypse than this:

And yet, you would be wrong, for Wilma Deering’s utopia is built in a bubble, isolated from the blasted landscape outside, where nuclear war has left Old Chicago and places like it in ruins.

Old Chicago:

So, how do you do it? How do you stay living in a city like that, keeping your figure trim and athletic, and maintaining your beauty regime so that you can look this good whilst holding down a high-powered job?

Wilma Deering explains New Chicago’s secret to living well after an apocalypse:
And there you have it: combine an authoritarian regime that keeps the bright and shiny people away from the barren wastes with good shipping lanes to the rest of the galaxy, and there’s really no reason not to last out the apocalypse in comfort. And who cares if there are starving mutants outside your haven of peace and light? As long as you’re one of the ones on the inside you’re free to enjoy the monorails whilst you top-up your lip gloss and climb the ranks of the military.
We hear a lot about the scrappy survivors, hanging on in a tough world, but don’t be fooled! Many civilisations have gone down this path. A domed city and a rigidly controlled and pacified population can enable a decadent lifestyle under all kinds of apocalypses. In the world of Logan’s Run, you don’t even have to grow old.
Better yet, why not live a life of carefree happiness by keeping a slave race to do all the work of survival for you? Future generations may not even have to think that hard just to live in luxury.



The beautiful city of the Eloi, from The Time Machine.




The cave-dwelling Morlocks.



And if the slave race should get a bit uppity and start eating you… well, c’est le vie. You don’t get something for nothing, not even in a post-apocalypse utopia.
Apocalypse Womble out.

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