Zombie Clearing

 

Zombies in the streets are just so messy. If it’s not chunky pieces of rotting flesh waiting to ensnare your best heels, it’s groaning hoards trying to eat you and there’s only so long you can ignore it all before something must be done.

Taking care of the moving zombies should be your first priority as these are the ones that will be the most pesky. You really don’t want to have to fight past them in the January sales so instead of barricading yourself in a building and hoping they’ll expire on their own, consider taking the initiative and clean up your town’s streets.

We suggest doing this in two stages:

Stage One – The Free-Range

Zombie traffic is the worst thing about your zompoc. There’s so many of the buggers that shooting them individually is both time consuming and a serious drain on resources; so what you need to do is find a mass kill solution that will wipe out the lot with minimal risk to the non-zom parts of the population.

Now, no matter what species of zombie you’ve been plagued with, one common characteristic they all share is the ability to sniff out uninfected human flesh. With proper preparation, you can use this against them with a zombie trap. A really big one. Preferably on the edge of town where it won’t ruin your primary living environment.

You’re going to need two parts to your trap. The funnel, where you drive the random wandering zombies into one hoard with nowhere to go but towards their doom; and the end zone, where you despatch them.

For the funnel, pick a straight main road so the zombies can feed through to it from the side roads. Consider barricading any nearby parallel roads or putting blocks up at junctions so there’s nowhere for them to go but your route. You could also have one of the more athletic of your survivor crew ready to play bait to any wanderers that have gotten lost and herd them to the main group.

Then comes the end-zone. This is the tricky bit. If you’re mechanically minded you could set up a length of razor wire on a cunning device that will slide across and behead the stumbling hoards. This will work great unless they’re really short and you’ll still have to clear the bodies away at some point so our preferred option for the end trap is fire.

Fire is, and always will be, the most effective final solution but you want to be careful when and where you start burning so if there’s not a handy pit on the edge of your town then either find a place you can block off to built a zombie cremation area or hotwire some abandoned construction equipment and dig. A pit gives you the benefit of a steep edge the zombies can’t climb out of quickly once they’ve dropped in and can be covered up easily once you’re left with a pile of zom-infected ash.

Whatever you use, make sure you have exits for your daring human bait to use as you don’t want them shut in with the hoards. Have rope ladders ready as back up options, or borrow a crane so you can drop a suitable chain into the trap to haul out your friends.

Once the zombies are safely contained, then you set them on fire. You’ll need plenty of accelerant to get the optimum temperature quickly – consider showering the zombies with something flammable as they feed through into the trap, that way you only have to ignite and wait.

Repeat until you’re as sure as you can be that all the streets are clear.

Stage Two – The House-Bound

There will be zombies trapped in rooms all over your town. Taking care of these can be done by searching house to house and killing them on a room by room basis, or you can adapt Stage One by opening the doors and drawing them into the streets. For your best chance of success, be orderly and target one area at time, that way you can set up street blocks to drive your zombies to the main funnel and then despatch them using your preferred method.

Then once you’ve taken care of all of the moving zombies, you can start getting rid of the chunky corpses. We suggest loading them up in trucks or wagons and taking them to a burn pit on the edge of town. Wear suitable protective clothing as you don’t want to get infected by zombie remains and always make sure you have some sharp-shooters on guard in case you missed one of the wandering dead.

Then with your town nice and clean you can get started on long-term rebuilding – but keep an eye on your borders and be ready to deal with zombie tourists…

 

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